so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize