what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
