he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I have feelings that need drinking.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
