U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
where am i from again
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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