College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
We talked him into tasing himself.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Randomize
