I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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