I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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