Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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