Me too!
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
