i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
i think im in europe. pls send help
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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