I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
