went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
