Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Randomize
