Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Randomize