that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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