Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
