I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Randomize
