is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
