I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize