"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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