We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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