I don't usually arrange sex via text message
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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