Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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