Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Randomize
