allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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