I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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