is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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