Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
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