Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
