One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
