My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Randomize
