..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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