I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
