my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
