I look better un-naked...
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
And then my night got REAL pukey
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
