This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
