ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
