you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
