Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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