He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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