First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Randomize