like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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