My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
