so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
