My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
