no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
