I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
pray to the hookup gods
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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