Sry I called you an 8
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
