I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You are the jesus of drinking
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
