my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
