I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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