Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Less talking, more tequila
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
