my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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